


Too much

by Meaiku



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Crying, Hurt No Comfort, Just a very bad breakdown on Gavins part, Just me putting my misery on Gavin, Mental Breakdown, Okay I don't know how to tag this anymore, Other, Overstimulation, Self-Hatred, Vomiting, and not the sexy kind, its just bad seriously, sliiight suicidal thought near the end
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-28
Updated: 2020-06-28
Packaged: 2021-03-03 18:38:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24970168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Meaiku/pseuds/Meaiku
Summary: The working title for this was "Gavin Reeds very bad dayTM" and that should say it all
Kudos: 15





	Too much

**Author's Note:**

> Before anyone tries to come for my ass  
> I wrote this when I wasnt doing well and Gavin was a good victim at the time
> 
> And I found this on my laptop again and thought  
> Eh why not I'm sure someone will want to read this ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
> 
> So uhhh enjoy his suffering?

It started with not enough sleep  
The neighbors too loud  
The air too hot

  
Keeping him tossing and turning until he got maybe 3 hours of rest  
Not even coffee could help against the tension  
His shoulders drawn up to his ears when he finally arrived at work

  
The traffic made him late  
He didn't even got to his fucking desk before Fowler barked through the precinct  
„Reed! Get your ass in here!“  
  
He screams at him  
Maybe he screams back  
At this point Gavin isn't really sure about anything anymore  
Doesn't really remember leaving the office again  
  
Everything is a horrible confusing blur

  
His skin is itching fiercely  
and he scratches himself bloody when he sits at his desk  
  
It gets worse and worse and worse  
  
Coffee spilled over his desk from his shaking hands  
A suspect headbutting him in the nose while he interrogates them  
and a dozen little bruises from when he reacts too slow and bumps into a million things around the office  
  
The relief he feels when he can finally leave makes him lightheaded and weak on his legs  
Not even a cigarette calming his frayed nerves  
The click of his apartment door too loud and final in his ears  
  
He hated it  
Hated it  
_hated it_  
**hated it**  
  
That lump stuck in his throat  
Like acid crawling up his lungs into his mouth  
  
The taste of bile heavy on his tongue  
  
His jaw clenched so hard his muscles screamed  
teeth grinding  
  
He can hear the blood rushing in his ears  
His heartbeat frantic and loud  
  
The silence pressing down on him  
down  
down  
_down_  
  
His fist clenched so hard  
His nails digging into his palms  
  
**No he won't**  
  
He won't give in again  
  
His eyes burning in his skull  
cheeks feeling hot

  
He's stronger than this  
  
But the whole day comes crashing down on him  
Every single thing  
The frustration  
The anger  
The exhaustion  
  
The first sob is loud in the silence of his apartment  
His legs weak when he sinks down to his knees  
  
His eyes filling with tears when his breathing gets unsteady from his sobs  
His throat closing up while his shaky hands claw into the floor  
  
Everything is too much  
Too loud  
Too bright  
  
His fingers in his hair  
Clawing at his scalp  
Against the headache and the noise  
His thoughts frantic and confusing  
  
Ripping out hair with his clenched fists  
The pain making his shaking worse  
  
stop 

Stop

 **STOP**  
  
His lungs burn  
No air can reach them through his sobs  
The violent clenches of his stomach punching the last bit of breath out him  
  
Black spots dance over his already blurred vision  
Head light as oxygen becomes harder and harder to get  
  
His fingertips tingle where he presses them into the gritty rug  
Dry heaves shake him in between wet and noisy sobs  
The taste of bile and misery heavy and disgusting  
  
The wet splatter of fluid drenches the already ruined carpet  
Feels the wetness sink into his pants where he kneels  
  
Mixing with the tears and snot dripping from his chin  
He gags until nothing can leave his stomach anymore  
  
His body drops to the side as soon as he stops gagging  
Curling together in a fetal position next to his vomit  
Shaking like a leaf and whimpering  
  
The tears run for a long time  
They leave his cheeks clammy and sticky  
But he doesn't have the energy to care anymore  
  
No energy for anything other then lying there in his own fluids  
Like the type of people he always pretends not to be  
Like the people he mocks viciously  
  
He can imagine how his coworkers would react if they saw him  
The way he can't keep it together over one hard day  
How they would taunt him and sneer  
No matter if he would have deserved it or not  
The thought makes his shaking worse  
His throat closing up again  
  
But he's empty  
No tears  
No bile  
  
Nothing left to expel from his body  
even though he feels just as suffocated as before  
Still as drawn thin and fragile  
  
He would rather die than feel like this  
  
Anything is better than being like this


End file.
